I am a professional listener. I have not always been. I have often been the first to speak up, sometimes at others expense. Now, I find myself coaching people who are struggling to be heard.
With Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and other digital media we can say look at me, pay attention, I am here, I am real. We are in constant contact with each other and sharing the most intimate details of our lives, but we are not connecting, in fact, there seems to be a disconnect. We all want to feel that someone cares. I don’t think that it’s poor listening skills that limit our ability to connect. I think it’s the nonstop stream of information competing for our attention. We talk with our friends and to our spouses and we don’t hear a word. It creates problems and we misunderstand each other. We get angry and we feel isolated and lonely. Friendships and relationships foster well-being and support resiliency and success, yet we are struggling to build them. I read the other day that it takes over 200 hours of time spent together to develop a new friendship. That can create some constraints on connecting!
Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, defines connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship. Wouldn’t it be great if we could all feel seen and valued?
Coaching is about unbiased listening. It offers a place to try out ideas and to learn new techniques for connecting and leading. Sometimes I am a sounding board, other times I help people get clear on what they want to say.
It is not often that someone will sit with us and open up space to deeply listen with no agenda and the intention of helping, with the focus entirely on our wellbeing. Someone who will create the intentional space for us to talk about our work and to help us get clear on what we want and need for happiness, for success, and for our lives to have meaning. Someone who is not trying to “fix” us or the problem. That’s what I do.
Human beings need each other more than ever before, and you don’t need a coach to start to help yourself and others. Be courageous and start the conversation, offer kindness and respect to everyone you meet, connect and listen, really listen without expectations. Ask for help, extend a hand, open your heart, be there for someone else, have compassion, pay attention and look at what’s going on around you. We all need to reach out to discover what’s waiting there for us and if you decide that you would like a guide, I am here to listen.
SuccessView Coaching and Consulting Group was created to empower individuals to discover a new future for themselves at work and play. We believe that with coaching you can create the awareness to escalate learning, improve performance and enhance the quality of life.
Through coaching and coaching for learning and development, mentoring, one-on-one and group training we assist in building trust, and increasing collaboration. We help individuals move beyond their personal and/or professional obstacles to help them achieve a better future.